Is It Possible to Care Too Much?

During my mortgage career, I held many positions—but the “underwriter” position was probably the most challenging. 

I remember one specific loan file where the divorce decree stated that if the single dad was able to purchase a home, he would be awarded joint custody of his two little girls.  If he was not able to buy a home, he only got limited visitation rights.  (I know, you might be asking yourself, what judge would allow that to be part of a divorce decree?) 

Anyway, as the underwriter, I had to deny the loan for many different reasons. 

That’s when I got the phone call from the upset loan officer saying: 

“You can’t deny this loan.  You will ruin his life.  He may even kill himself if he can’t get joint custody of his two, precious little girls—both of whom love to wear matching pink outfits.” 

Yes, the job of a loan officer is to care—in fact, it may be the defining difference between you and the big box banks or the online mortgage companies. 

But I am going out on a limb here and saying that yes, there is a point where you can care TOO much. 

Here’s the test to determine if you care too much…

  • You find yourself getting upset, pounding your desk, not sleeping at night
  • You care for your clients/Realtors more than you care for yourself
  • You care for your clients/Realtors more than you care for your family or friends
  • You experience “emotional stress” when getting involved with files
  • You care more about the deal than they do.

There is a fine line between “caring enough” and “caring too much.” Between being professional versus emotional. 

You can’t save the world.

Being too emotionally attached to a client, a Realtor or a deal will not allow you to see things objectively. 

You will lose sight of ways to help them if you’re ranting and stressing out. 

Question:  In what instances do you find yourself getting so emotionally involved with your files that it affects your job and your life?