How I Found Out That I Was a Bitter Person – And Started Cleaning Out My “Closet”

Big thank you to VIP Member, Joyce Boyer, who shared this with the attendees at this year's Mastermind Retreat. 

Written By: Joyce Boyer, 1st Capital Mortgage in Oklahoma

One evening I was reading Facebook and found an article and short video called “Bitter People Have These 5 Habits” by

I’m not a bitter person.

But just for the heck of it, I read the post and stunningly realized I was bitter.

Here’s a list of the 5 “bitter habits”:

  1. Feeling Jaded
  2. Holding Grudges
  3. Being Jealous
  4. Seeking Attention
  5. Being Negative

When I attended the Mortgage Girlfriends Mastermind Retreat this year, one of the sessions was called,  “What’s In Your Closet?” 

As I looked into the closet of my soul I found:

Mismatched Clothes: 

  • Realtors that don’t fit my business model
  • Borrowers that are difficult to manage
  • A company relationship that needs to change


Clothes that Don’t Fit:  

  • Marketing niches that aren’t successful
  • Direct mail, buying leads, old systems that don’t work any more
  • Fear of ideas that won’t fit
  • Good intentions to do things differently…but never do

The Closet Is a Mess:

  • Lack of time blocking
  • No consistent loan process or follow-up system
  • Not planning your week to prospect

Needs to Be Aired Out: 

  • Not open to change
  • Not embracing new business relationships
  • Need to consider becoming an expert in new loan products

Old Style Shoes, Purses and Clothing:   

  • Being around negative thinkers
  • Not adjusting to the new ways of attracting business  (texts, social media, etc.)
  • Being jealous of the success of others

No Time to Clean:

  • Failing to keep up on the “cleaning”
  • Chasing new ideas before finishing what you started
  • Not making time for family and friends.

Worn and Tattered Clothing:

  • Making mountains out of molehills
  • Holding grudges.

It’s been way too long since I cleaned my closet. 

I have taken the first step—I’ve opened the closet door and am ready to get started now!